Have you ever been to a situation whereby you have to make an decision and its a LOSE-LOSE situation? Honestly, i have not been to REAL huge one until 9th Oct 2007.
Pa Pa Mui and I went to the hospital with a "Can't Wait To See You" attitude on 9th Oct for our 2nd scanning of baby mui. Its was the Fetal Scan and partially is to scan the baby for its nose bone and the skin at the back of the baby for Down Syndrome. Baby Mui wasn't quite co-operative at first as the Doctor couldnt get a good look at the skin. So i was sent out for a walk and came back in again. This time, the Doctor was able to get a better look but he has a disturbing look on his face and he kept really quiet.
Then the bad news hit us. The Doctor said that the skin at the back of the baby's back is rather thick, it could be a sympton of Down Syndrome or it could be nothing. And he based on my age to compute a ratio and i have a 1:71 possibility. Tears already start to well up in my eyes. And Doctor suggested that we do a CVS - Chorionic villus sampling (CVS) which is a very accurate antenatal test that detects chromosomal abnormalities such as Down's syndrome (DS) but the downside is the possibility of miscarriage and its 1:300. And if baby really has Down's Syndrome, we have to decide if we want to terminate it.
Never mentioned the words MISCARRIAGE and TERMINATION to a pregnant woman ie me...as i started to sob in a room with Pa Pa Mui, Doctor and his 2 assistants all staring at me. Everything is TOO MUCH for me in a short 15 mins session. I know deep inside i want to do the test badly, i am sure all parents has a selfish side which wants to raise a normal child but if of my selfishness i did the test and lose a healthy baby???
Doctor told us to go for a walk and discuss it and we sat in the garden of the hospital and my sobbing couldnt stop. Its a tough decision that we have to make....if i go through the test, if its really a DS child, we have to terminate it and if its a normal child, we just hope that the miscarriage will not befall on me. As we were told that the miscarriage rate usually occured within 2 weeks after the CVS, i hastily informed my boss that i need a 2 weeks leave to rest at home to minimise all risks. Thank god we both have understanding bosses who shared our woes. And so the test was scheduled on 15 October 2007.
Today...its 2nd November 2007, everything is over now. And we have got the result back on 29th Oct and we have tided through the 2 weeks. Doctor said that baby is growing well and we have cleared the DS so now we will see the organs development of the baby and progress from there.
Now i understand the pain and scarf ices that our parents have gone through for us, i really appreciate that and i hope baby mui will too.
Oh ya... not only will the CVS show results of DS possibility...but they can also tell the gender of the baby.....and we are glad to inform that we will be having a BABY BOY.
On 29th Oct night...that was the first night that we both could finally sleep soundly with baby mui.
